Up late or maybe early to some (4am) pondering over my resolutions
Really I’m up late because I partied way too much on New Years Eve and brought in the New Year way too long and slept through most of the day part of Thursday. Whew. I had so much fun but now I’m up and can’t sleep. This will take a couple of days worth to get back to normal. Maybe I’ll take a Benadryl to help me out. hee hee.
I noticed that since I gained alot (about half) of my weight back since losing around 60 pounds that I am no longer the confident woman I was before. The old me is slowing creeping back. I went from hating my picture being taken to loving my picture being taken and now to take my picture and I don’t want to see what it looks like. lol And when I do see it I can see my double chin back on all sides of my face. Gee whiz I gained alot back. Had some fun doing it but really, old me is creeping back and I don’t like it. I used to be confident, a tad flirty but now I just can’t find that person anymore. So now it’s back to business.
I made a few New Years Resolutions and one big one was to give up white bread. This means white bread, flour tortillas an donut type products. A friend insists I add crackers too so I will add it. It’s not like I love crackers so what the hay.
I’m going through a few personal things right now regarding money, family and maybe even a friendship. I need to try and stay positive and also aggressive in everything I want to achieve. I need to force myself to handle these problems as they come. I just have to. I think I have lost that confident feeling I once had because of the weight gain. All that bad food I’ve been eating in the last year surely didn’t help me with my moods either. Bad foods lead to bad emotions. Late night eating too. All gotta stop. And worrying about what people think too. Sure, I don’t have to let everyone know every personal problem I have but sometimes things are what they are and you have to put it out there instead of faking things and hiding things and eventually being caught in a lie. Hopefully with the things that I have going on that my friends and family will let me have a little dignity and not ask so many questions. I hate that shit.
I also gotta get right with God. Sorry God that I haven’t been the best. I will do better. I can’t expect You to bail me out every time and I do nothing in return. I wouldn’t do that to a friend but I tend to do that to You who is so much more to me. That’s not right.
I wish everyone a good New Year. Let’s make 2009 one for the memory books. The one where we make good changes!
-Wonder Woman
hope you have a great 2009! i really hope mine is a great one too. wouldnt it be great if this was the year i actually did lose the weight instead of putting a shedload more on!
Glad to see you back here altho im sorry about the gain and problems in your life. Get rid of that hangover and we are here to get this going
Sending a big hug to you and reminding you that you are not alone.
Girl, give everything to God — Let Go and Let God. You are always right with him. He will pull you through your trials; just believe. No matter the situation, you can not let money, and relationships (family, friends, or otherwise) dictate how you take care of yourself. We need to put ourselves first, in one small way or another. 2009 will be our year! Believe Achieve.
I have gained and lost, gained it back, lost, gained…it takes a toll on your self-esteem and feelings about yourself. Forgiving yourself and moving on can be hard to do but so important! I know what you mean about feeling more confident as you lost weight. I try to remember that I am a person with so much more than just my weight, and so are you! You can do this.
I don’t know if you are Christian, but even Jesus demonstrated this piece of our too human nature, that we cannot feel God’s presence clearly when we are suffering or otherwise preoccupied with ourselves, when he cried out on the cross “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” (”My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?”)
I always took that part of the story to mean that God was too pure to look upon evil, so when Jesus took the sins of all of humanity on himself, God literally turned his back on His son. That always confused and upset me - we are told that God loves us no matter what, and we can be forgiven anything, but He turned his back on Jesus when He was right in the middle of saving us - turned away from His SON while he was suffering horrible torture. I couldn’t fathom it.
This confusion led to years of me thinking God had turned his back on me because I was such a sinner, that I was alone in the world because I wasn’t “good” enough - I mean, if He could turn His back on JESUS, who the heck was I to ask for anything? However, the lesson I’m learning right now is that God is with me, whether I’m with Him or not. It’s hard, sometimes, to feel His presence when we are in pain, or anxious, or worried - I don’t think anymore that he turned his back on Jesus. I think Jesus was showing us that when we are suffering, we lose sight of God but He never loses sight of us.
I’m grateful to God for sending me children to mother. I believe He taught me how He loves me by the way He put this tremendous love of my own children into my heart. It taught me that He couldn’t ever have turned His back on His son - but perhaps Jesus was suffering so much that he FELT it was so. I’ve been there.
Sorry for the preaching - delete if it’s too much.
Happy New Year and so good to see you back. I was Wondering about you, Wonder Woman LOL.
Glad to see you still hanging around. I am completely with you in this blog…
I gained a lot of mine back too and it sucks. HATE looking at my face now. See the double chins creeping on…
UGH…
Only thing we can do is stop it now and not let it go any further…
Lets do it girl!!!
I’am with you… I’am tired of riding this roller coaster.
Ohhh so happy to see you girl!
The weight gain is hard I know. Yet, I dont have one doubt in my mind that you will get rid of it. Your facing so much like a lot of our buddies here..but we can get through this..even if its just a step at a time.
Come on girl..you can do this!! Love Debbie
So funny, WW, before I read your blog I was looking at this new pic of you and just loving it and thinking how much more confident you look…maybe that was a moment where the new you was standing strong! Just know that it’s all you and you can have that confident, fun, flirty, and open you stay strong with just a few choices that lead you in that direction. Start small. Start Big, whatever works for you, just start and then keep starting. You know? Glad to see you around! Best to you in regards to the friends and family stuff.
I LOVE YOU NEW PICTURE! You are so beautiful WW. The pink blouse is amazing on you.
Miss seeing you on here. I’m glad you set some priorities for this year, one being you and getting back to being that confident woman we all know and love.
AWESOME PIC~!!I too have missed you. You know how to get it off, and you CAN do it. Sure missed you! Ahem, do I have to dust that cattle prod off? LOl. Love you!
Hey we all screw up, don’t beat yourself up about it, you have done it before, you can do it again.
If ya need a friend, I am here!
Wonder Woman, I totally understand where you are coming from ! I gained Twenty five pounds since March of last year when I was doing so good ! We are gonna make this the year we kick our bad habits to the curb ! We can do it ! Hugs, Kimmi
My first shero! Know just how you feel, but the weight will come right back off if you hang in there. I am always fighting 3 or 4 pounds… for the last thirty years. That old food habit just keeps pulling us off course, but you know how to whip it into shape. Love, Marge
WW, have missed seeing you on here. I see you on IM from time to time, but don’t always have time to check in. We are SO right here with you. I let some bad habits (and my lack of workout routine) seemed to make things worse! We’re in this together, girlfriend! One step at a time!
How many times I’ve been in this position? I couldn’t even venture a guess. I think of you often and am wishing you well!