WonderWoman

Quick note for today.  I lost 4 pounds this week.  I really didn’t put my heart and soul in it but I ate right and stayed away from junk.  It was one of those weeks where I wasn’t enthusiastic about my plan but I did it anyway.  I knew that I was going out on Saturday night and was going to drink so I wanted to be a good girl all week so I could splurge on the weekend.  Well, I went out last night and drank and danced it off and I’m glad to say the scale smiled at me this morning.  And, I’m glad to say that last night I got the munchies but fought the urges.    I’m going grocery shopping tonight so I can have a successful second week.  We shall see where it leads me.

Couple of big things are happening this week.  I hope I can stay the course.

Have a good week buddies!

Really I’m up late because I partied way too much on New Years Eve and brought in the New Year way too long and slept through most of the day part of Thursday.  Whew.  I had so much fun but now I’m up and can’t sleep.  This will take a couple of days worth to get back to normal.  Maybe I’ll take a Benadryl to help me out.  hee hee.

I noticed that since I gained alot (about half) of my weight back since losing around 60 pounds that I am no longer the confident woman I was before.  The old me is slowing creeping back.  I went from hating my picture being taken to loving my picture being taken and now to take my picture and I don’t want to see what it looks like.  lol  And when I do see it I can see my double chin back on all sides of my face.  Gee whiz I gained alot back.  Had some fun doing it but really, old me is creeping back and I don’t like it.   I used to be confident, a tad flirty but now I just can’t find that person anymore.  So now it’s back to business.

I made a few New Years Resolutions and one big one was to give up white bread.  This means white bread, flour tortillas an donut type products.  A friend insists I add crackers too so I will add it.  It’s not like I love crackers so what the hay. 

I’m going through a few personal things right now regarding money, family and maybe even a friendship.  I need to try and stay positive and also aggressive in everything I want to achieve.  I need to force myself to handle these problems as they come.  I just have to.  I think I have lost that confident feeling I once had because of the weight gain.  All that bad food I’ve been eating in the last year surely didn’t help me with my moods either.  Bad foods lead to bad emotions.  Late night eating too.  All gotta stop.  And worrying about what people think too.  Sure, I don’t have to let everyone know every personal problem I have but sometimes things are what they are and you have to put it out there instead of faking things and hiding things and eventually being caught in a lie.  Hopefully with the things that I have going on that my friends and family will let me have a little dignity and not ask so many questions.  I hate that shit. 

I also gotta get right with God.  Sorry God that I haven’t been the best.  I will do better.  I can’t expect You to bail me out every time and I do nothing in return.  I wouldn’t do that to a friend but I tend to do that to You who is so much more to me.  That’s not right.

I wish everyone a good New Year.  Let’s make 2009 one for the memory books.  The one where we make good changes! 

-Wonder Woman