WonderWoman

Yes it happened!  He finally got a job today and starts Wed!

Thank you God!  Thank you for hearing me when I was soooo down.  Thank you for the blessing you gave us!

Thank you to all my Buddyslim pals that responded to my last blog.  So many of you reached out and shared your experiences and feelings and you tried to lift me up.  One poster even said she didn’t have advice but wanted to say my situation sucked and that made me laugh because it was true.  lol.  Many people reached out to me through email to say they would pray for me or just wanted to check on me.  What a wonderful wonderful feeling.   Thank you all.

It has a been a low few months.  There have been some highs and then some low lows.  There were times my husband and I were allies and times we let each other have it.   Now, we can move on and be hopeful. 

Oh, did I tell you?  There are times that I even surprised myself.  I was going through this low period and somewhere inside of me I found the courage to take a couple of salsa lessons.  Something I always wanted to do.  I joined a salsa meetup group and I took my first lesson the other day and then took another one at a little club.  Funny how you can go through a bad period and then do something outside your norm simply for the heck of it.  I’m too depressed to clean my house but I’ll take salsa lessons?  Ha ha!  

This year has been real funny for me.  I’ve never done so many different things this year and at the same time there was a low period.  Ahh, what life throws us.

I’m going to enjoy this weekend even more.  Some friends, my hubby and I are going camping.  When I get back, it’s back to work on losing this weight and being a better buddy again.  A friend invited me to join her 5K team for a race in November.  I didn’t want to sign up for it at first because I didn’t know where I would be in November or how I would feel if my hubby was still out of work.   Now, I will join.  Fo shizzle! 

Thanks again for all your support, stories and prayers!  I only wish good things for all of you.  I don’t want anyone to be in that sad lonely place I was in.  It’s not a good place to be.

Over everything.  Just everything.  But, I was trying to stay patient.  Trying my best to hang on.  But sometimes you just go numb and your feelings don’t know where to go.  You go from sadness to anger to trying to build yourself up again to then just giving in and throwing your arms up in frustration.  I feel like every year it’s something new.  Some new challenge.  Some hard thing to overcome.  And of course it always looks like everyone else is doing better.  Whether it’s true or not it helps your own pity party.

What drove this blog today?  Well, I’ve been trying to be the most patient person I can be.  More patient then ever before.  Hubby lost his job about 3 months ago and he’s having a hard time finding a job.  He puts in something every day but no real bites come through.  Interviews happen but there is always something he is lacking that they want.    Finally something hopeful comes his way.

1. Husband had a phone job interview about 3 weeks ago. 
2. Then we wait to see if they ever call back.
3. They do call back and set up a panel interview.  We wait for that day to come (following week).
4. Interview day comes and hubby says it goes really well.  Now wait to hear back.
5. Days later (on a Thurs) finally hear something back.  Hubby needs to do one more phone interview with the guy he would be working with if hired.  Sounds like it’s pratically in the bag.  Interview scheduled for Monday 1:00.  Need to be patient just another while longer. 
6. Monday comes and I’m hopeful.  1:00 comes and no call. Grrr.  Hubby calls HR to see if he missed something but they tell him the boss guy forgot interview.  Reschedules it for 5:00.
7. 5:00 comes and no call again.  Super grrrr.  Hubby calls and HR says they will try and find out what happened tomorrow.

All this waiting is driving me crazy.  He submits his resume and application so you wait days to hear back.  Then if you do hear back, you wait for the interview day.  Then you wait to see if they want to hire you.  They all say they will call whether they will hire your or not but they really don’t.   You wait, wait, wait and wait.  And when you think you have followed all the rules of being as patient as possible the powers that be make you wait just a little more.  Squeezing just one more ounce of hope you have.

My patience is being tested.  My spirit is slowing wearing down.  Depression has come and gone during this last 3 or 4 months and it’s finally winning.  If depression and I were in an arm wrestling match I think I’m about an inch away from touching the table and losing.

Oh, and I’ve gained about 8 pounds.  Not good.

Hello Buddies!  Ok, I wanted to share something that happened to me this weekend.  A group of us went out this weekend to go check out some bars downtown.  We get to this little blue’s bar and the guy in front starts checking out ID’s.  He’s doing this to everyone regardless of age it seems.  So my husband and I are last to get in and the guy looks at my license and then looks at me.  He had to look about 3 times and then he made this weird look on his face.  I told him “It’s me, I just lost alot of weight!”  He smiled and laughed and said “Congratulations!”  I was really beaming!  I said thank you and then kind of gave him little pokes in the tummy because for some stupid reason his reaction had me feeling giddy!  lol 

Anyway, my license is when I was probably over 207 pounds and my face looked huge.  Now I’m not saying everyone over 207 lbs has a huge face.  It’s just mine was super huge  and looked really bloated.  Might have been because of my thyroid problem too.  It really looks like a whole other person than myself. 

Look, to those of you who are struggling, please stay the course.  I’m telling you, it is so worth it.  I’m not just saying that so that you can get compliments from people either.  I’m saying it’s worth it because for me, my confidence level is so much higher than it was before.  I feel better, can dance longer and feel more outgoing then before.  I don’t stress about what to wear when social things come up and about not being in photos anymore.   It’s a great feeling.  And I’m not even in the “skinny skinny sizes” either. 

And here’s another reason too.  I’m somewhat stressed about my husband’s job search and I can say that I have not once grabbed food in any way for comfort.  If I enjoyed a few drinks it’s because I knew what I was doing and had a plan for it.  Even later in the evening we went to a friends house and he brought out some queso and chips and even in my “drunk like haze” I remembered my plan and didn’t eat it.  I think it’s because practice makes perfect.   Retraining my body to learn new habits too.   Stay the course ladies and gents.  There is so much more waiting for you. 

P.S.  They couldn’t pay enough right now to give up that license picture.  I admit, I like to hear compliments about it. 

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Hi fellow Buddyslimmers!  It’s been an emotional week but I’m proud to say I made it.  I lost 2 pounds this week.  Friday the scale said 3 but it decided to take back 1 of them today.  The nerve! 

So I survived the weekend somewhat ok.   Last Wed I was upset about my husband’s job search that I didn’t want to run that night but with the help of my buddies support on here, I went.  I walked Thursday but when Friday came around I just wanted a break so I did.  The victory though is that I never once went crazy with my food.  I stayed on track.  Well, I did go a little hog wild last Saturday for my b-day but even that could have been worse and it was my official cheat day.  It just proves to me again that I can have the best of both worlds if I try hard enough. 

Things I’m happy about today - My son turned 18 today.  Ladies and Gents, I made it!  I raised a child until he turned 18 and I am so proud of him.  I raised a boy and I think he turned out pretty good.  He never gave me more trouble than I could handle.  Oh, the teen years were tough but it was more of him wanting to be a man and have his say than anything else.  

Have a great weekend Buddies! 

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